Everything happens for a reason. Jab zindagi kisi anjaane mod par aati hai toh ya toh toofaan aata hai ya phir zindagi roshni se khil uthti hai. Ghum ke baad khushiyan zarur aati hai aur khushiyon ke baad ghum. Meri kahaani bhi kuch aisi hi hai.
Abhishek aur mere beech sab theek chal raha tha. Hum khush the ek dusre ke saath ya phir yun kahun ki main khush thi Abhishek ke saath.
But as they say, nothing is forever and things change without prior notice. Isi ko toh zindagi kehte hain. Mujhe nahi pata tha ki Abhishek ke dimag mein kya chal raha tha.
I started to notice a weird change in his behavior. Uski care, uska pyar dhundla hota gaya. Mere calls ka jawab aana band ho gaya and mujhe feel hone laga tha ki woh mujhe ignore kar raha hai.
And thode hi dino mein sabkuch clear ho gaya. Usne mujhe call karna band kar diya jaise mujhme koi interest hi na ho. Mujhe aisa lagne laga ki main hi is rishte ko zabardasti kheench rahi hun. Woh ab is kahani ka hissa tha hi nahi.
Jaise jaise din beet te ja rahe the, ye baat andar hi andar mujhe khaaye jaa rahi thi. Main uska ye rude behavior aur nahi jhel sakti thi aur mujhe sabkuch clear karna hi tha. Maine use call kiya aur puchha ki aakhir woh chahta kya hai and uska reply tha "See..main jaanta hun ki mera behavior badla hai and sach maano I don’t have any excuse to give. Is waqt main sirf itna keh sakta hun ki…..main is rishte ke liye tayyar nahi hun."
Abhi ne jo kaha wo main pehle se hi jaanti thi, mujhe pata tha ki hamare rishte mein kuchh toh galat tha, magar phir bhi Abhi ka aisa kehna aur usse alag hone ke khayal ne mujhe tod diya tha.
Maine use kai baar call kiya…jo baat adhuri reh gayi thi use pura karne ki koshish ki magar usne kabhi mera call pick nahi kiya.
Agar kabhi galti se bhi hum kahin takra jaate toh wo mujhse aankhen pher leta. Mujhse uska aisa selfish behavior sehen nahi ho raha tha aur yahi baat mujhe aur zyada dukh pahuncha rahi thi. I felt like a loser. Jo shakhs mujh par apni jaan lutata tha, aaj wo mujhse baat tak nahi karna chahta tha.
Ye sab soch soch kar main kahin aur concentrate nahi kar paa rahi thi. Maine logon se milna chhod diya. Meri saari ummeed, mera sara confidence jata raha. Kuchh aisa hone wala tha jo maine kabhi expect nahi kiya tha.
Mere results…main first year mein fail ho gayi thi. Ye ek aur jhatka tha mere liye. Magar jo hua theek hi hua. Isne mujhe mere baare mein sochne par majboor kiya.
Main kyun aisa behave kar rahi hun. Kiske liye ye haalat banakar rakhi hai. Us insaan ke liye jisne bina koi reason diye mujhe chhod diya. Bas ab bahut ho chuka. Kyun use paane ki koshish kar rahi hun. He doesn’t deserve me. I’ll have to stop this or my life would be ruined. I have to be something to prove myself.
Maine college jana phir se shuru kar diya, padhai par zyada dhyan dena shuru kiya. Maine mehsus kiya ki main pehle se zyada sincere ho gayi thi aur sabse achhi baat ye thi ki mujhe kai naye log mile jo mere bahut achhe dost ban gaye. Main unse koi bhi baat kar sakti thi. Mujhe pata chala ki achhe dost kitne important hote hain aur jo pehle mere paas nahi the. Maine phir se zindagi ko enjoy karna seekh liya tha. Agar ek dard zindagi mein itna kuch la sakta hai toh main tayyar thi aise kai dard sehne ke liye.
Khud ko prove karne ki lalak ne mujhe strong banaaye rakha. Sab kuch phir se theek ho gaya tha. Maine apni graduation complete ki with good grades. Zindagi ke apne tareeke hote hain humein kuch sikhaane ke liye. Bas ek jhatke ki zarurat thi mujhe ye sab samajhne ke liye.
Kabhi bhi naa-ummeed mat hona kyunki aapke jeena chhod dene se zindagi nahi rukti. Jo bhi hota hai achhe ke liye hota hai. Toofan ke baad hi humein wo khubsurat nazara dekhne ko milta hai jise hum indradhanush kehte hain.
- Kshitij Mathur
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